Watch Me Move...

After the adoption gavel hit, we started a new phase of life. We were finally legally a family and we could start a new normal. As the summer ended and the school year started, we fell into a pleasant little routine. And it was that feeling you get when the hiccups finally go away. *Deep Breath*. Calm. Predictable. No interruptions and I felt like I had it all under control. 

But God. 

A local church has offered Mike the position of Director of Youth Ministry and after much prayer, we have realized it's what God is calling our family to do. It's awesome, really. We have known that the Lord would call Mike back to church ministry eventually and this is something that has been prophesied over him. We fully believe it's what God wants. So he gave his notice at his current job and we let our church know that we will be leaving. It's a weird thing to be leaving a life that we love - it's not like we're feeling that "my shoes are too tight and I need a bigger pair" feeling that you usually get with a big life change. It feels really abrupt and out of nowhere, but I believe God has been giving us some signs of change and that I just didn't want it, so I didn't acknowledge it. 

I was kinda digging the normal we had going on. Our lease is up in May, so I knew we would have to move, but I felt that I could figure something out for us by then. So this whole new journey has thrown me. My desire for control really kicked in once I realized how much was about to change for us. I chalked it up to "motherly tendencies", wanting to have a steady and certain life for our little boy who has been through so much. And wanting to be able to give him the consistencies of a good routine. Yes, we would have to move in the spring and that might be hard for him, but I would find us the perfect place and it would only be one thing. Everything else would be the same. But God.

He has shown us a new path. And if we're going to take this path, I have to give it all to Him. My desire for control. My willingness to "help Him out" and just take things into my own hands. My worry about being a ministry family this time, not just a couple. My fear of being forgotten by God. My stress over not knowing what's next. And the fact that I never really did know, I just thought I did. I know in my heart that it's okay to be sad and mourn the loss of the normal we had, but that it's also going to be good...because this is of God, and it cannot be anything BUT good. Because He is good. 

He has said "Natalie, watch Me move." and this morning in church, I realized that I need to be writing all this down. Because I know He will move and I know He will provide all we need. And He is going to do great and wonderful things that I cannot even begin to fathom. I know I will look back on this first entry and see His fingerprints. God loves our sweet little boy even more than I do, and I cannot just tell him that we trust God - I have to show him. My plan for our family isn't what we should be pursuing - it's the Lords. And I don't just want our adoption journey to be a testimony to Who He is, I want my life to be that too. 

God is asking me to do four things. 

1. Be still.
2. Know that I am God. 
3. Watch Me Move. 
4. Tell of My Goodness. 

So, here I am again, blog-land. New blog, new journey.